'A different kind of studio' and what I would tell my high school self
"Stop asking directions to places they've never been"
Thoughts on work, motherhood and trusting yourself.
As it turns out, I was decidedly off the art table in March. C’est la vie when you’re living 50 miles from your husband, home and studio - something’s gotta give. An absence I’m sure no one else picked up on, so I won’t dwell on it! But this absence from my work and studio is something I’ve felt both guilt and acceptance over. And then, my friend Mae so graciously gifted me the language I needed for this season:
“This is a different kind of studio.”
One where I walk on a deserted 40 degree beach with my kids. I hold their treasures for them (mostly rocks and bottle caps), while studying their shapes and shadows running down the dunes. I make mental notes of colors and compositions. They might be used for future work, but also might not. I breathe and try to just admire the moment.
So today I sit down and catch up. It’s April Fools Day. And apparently the beginning of Mercury in Retrograde. Mother Nature - you got us. You win April Fools. And I was definitely got - as I was promptly woken up at 4 am, 4:30 am and 5:30 am by my toddlers.
A different kind of studio.
One where I’m draped over the couch, pouring my son’s left over whole milk into my coffee, tearing up at the musical score of Bluey.
And then, if there was any question as to whether or not my 7 am zombie self was awake, I was jolted back to life with a phone call from our builder informing me it’s also insulation day and I need to let Dave know asap he can’t go home after work due to toxic fumes. And the morning was fully rounded out with some back and forth tax emails with my CPA and bookkeeper. Mercury is indeed in retrograde.
We’re all just figuring it out, aren’t we? Growing up, I always looked at adults as if they were these mature, all knowing iconic figures. I distinctly remember the first time I was included in an older adult conversation where someone was rude or immature, talking about someone behind their back (I hate that by the way, because I immediately know you’re likely doing the same about me). It was the first time I realized, wow, there is no magic age where you “grow up”! Everyone is just flawed and imperfect. Human! Making mistakes everyday. I was disappointed, but also, relieved. Maybe there isn’t always a right answer. Maybe for some things I can come up with my own answer. Cut to - me leaving my career as a physical therapist to make art for a living.
It’s something I’m even more acutely aware of now that I have my own kids - looking to me for answers all day long.
A different kind of studio.
One where I’m learning how to empower them to trust themselves, to trust their inner voice. They of course are only 1 and 3, so I do need them to trust me when I say standing on top of the table is a bad idea, but you get the gist. And I’m also just learning how to parent in this world, just like they’re learning how to be in this world.
High School Career Day
Okay. This all brings me to today’s topic. What happened in March, anyways? A personal highlight was speaking to 9-12th graders at Traverse City West High School’s Career Day. Needless to say, I was really excited to have the opportunity to speak to some versions of my younger self, and spill the beans that adults don’t in fact have all the answers.
I told them, I didn’t apply to art school in 2008 (when most of them weren’t born yet - insert history pop-quiz question). Instead, I googled “most stable, recession proof careers” and physical therapist consistently appeared in the top 5. So, I started on a 7 year path towards earning my doctorate in physical therapy, and then worked as a physical therapist for 5 years after that. Along the way, I found my way back to art, (I also found my husband and some life long friends, so it worked out) but I’ve often fantasized about traveling back in time to offer some advice to my younger self (with the caveat that I get to keep all these relationships of course).
When I was in high school, I thought if you wanted to survive as an artist you had to either be independently wealthy or retired, and that if I went to art school, I’d end up working for a larger company and never get to create the work I wanted. Of course, now I know, that isn’t true. But it was a long and winding road to arrive here - an important point to make when speaking with high schoolers. It’s natural to have a winding career path, plot points that aren’t linear. Mine certainly hasn’t been.
I often think about this line from the outro song in Glennon Doyle’s podcast We Can Do Hard Things:
“Stop asking directions to places they’ve never been.”
So instead of telling them how to get somewhere I haven’t been, I just told them my story. Where I’ve been, how I got to where I am today, and the lessons I’ve learned along the way. Speaking with them was nourishing on so many levels.
I suppose my real take away was the age old cliché - don’t worry so much about what other people are doing or saying. The adults in your life are just people too. Flawed humans. Listen to them, but also listen to yourself. You won’t get anywhere if you don’t try.
It’s something I continue to practice everyday, no matter which studio I find myself in.
Table Talk (aka the convos I’d be having with you while sitting together, making art.)
Word on the street is The Row gave out Blackwing pencils at their Paris Fashion Week show. I’ve been using them for years, but now feel even more validated in my writing utensil choice. I think they’d make such a fun gift for a friend who just landed a new job or promotion.
Speaking of art supplies, I just did a big restock and now have a new favorite paint brush!
I know I rambled on and on about April Fools and Mercury in retrograde - but I was also pleasantly surprised on the 1st! I splurged on this playful Nickey Kehoe sconce for my daughter’s room, and they accidentally sent me two?! They charge steep restocking fees so now I get to decide where this extra pop of fun will go. Oh, and if you’re in New York, check out their new Household store for me please!
On the topic of our home restoration - once I finish this email my next task is to order paint samples from Samplize (a genius concept if you haven’t heard). Any fave wall colors out there? Drop them in the comments!
I’ve been loving the women’s basketball madness!! Caitlin Clark is so fun to watch. What an exciting time for women’s sports! Who are you rooting for this Friday?
Finally, I’ve been getting back in the swing of things with artwork. I’m excited to share what I’ve been working on soon, so stay tuned!
Alright, that’s all for now. If you have any questions or just want to say hello, liking this post and sharing a comment really help my newsletter! I’m also always available via email.
Thank you for being here,
x
Katherine
Loved this, Katherine!!!
Loved this months news letter. Great advice for those young people.